I was poking around some more, and realized that the calibrations page would not display any of my legacy calibrations (despite every worker having them), and when I tried downloading calibrations from that page, the .yaml folder only had calibrations for half of the workers.
I’m just going to pull everything I have off all my workers and leader and reflash them starting on the newest image file since something appears to be irreparably wrong; thank you for all your help!